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15. Media Outrage

I don't watch M*** H*******'s segment on whatever news outlet he works for. The only time I see his resting stress face is when he's said something particularly inflamatory and he makes it onto my social media, with the people I follow outraging. Calling him stupid, posting their rebuttal (sometimes well-reasoned arguments, sometimes just dragging his name and face and dumb opinions through the mud).

The thing is, sometimes, just sometimes, I can't resist the tempatation of being included in what's going on.

It never feels good. He doesn't make me sad, he makes my insides churn with fear and anger. Fear because though he, personally and directly, doesn't physically put me in immediate danger, he's sharing an opinion many people have. Those people keep such views secret because of the public ridicule they'll recieve from the mainstream left and "progressive". But some may hold it to more violent extremes and him sharing his views on a verified and endorsed platforms give them legitimacy and those are the dangerous people I fear.

I suppose the same could be said of religions... that anyone can take any perspective and stretch it to a violent extreme. I'm not sure if this is a fair or balanced comparison, just spit-balling here.

So lets go back to the non-immediate-threat that is M.H.'s dumb opinions.

That's my un-nuanced, knee-jerk reaction. He dumb.

But when my eyes have finished rolling and my anger subsides, I try thinking about how useful he is to me. How useful are his quick fire opinions? How useful are the write-ups in response to him?

Not very useful. Reading him doesn't galvanise me into positive action. Knowing what he has to say about the world isn't generous to me, so why should I be generous to it?

I don't think M wants to be understood. Well, that's the sense I get either. There is no room for dialogue in the way he interacts with his audience.

He's good at bringing out strong support and strong opposition. But I don't want media that seeks to perpetuate this divide of extremes. I want media that contemplates more than it reaches hard and fast conclusions.

No news story is without angle. Objectivity is an illusion.

I want media who reflects on and acknowledges its own limitation and subjectivity. And from that position, present their writers' work that is researched, and doesn't seek to be inflamatory and contraversial for contraversy's sake.

I'm tired of that shit.

I don't want to seek outrage in the media I consume. There's so much I'm already angry at, I don't want to make room for needless anger.

[okay this blog-every-day-in-may thing failed woops]


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And now I figure out my new feelings about this country. My country... those two words taste funny in my mouth. Le masagi. But I gotta keep chewing, get accustomed to this feeling.


trying to get unstuck

there are competing thoughts in my head:

- you don't know enough to disseminate your thoughts

- writing is just a way to think out loud, not preach to a congregation

- none of your thoughts are original

- no one's thoughts are

- white people will laugh at you

- well, if you're afraid of that, might as well do nothing

- people will laugh at you, of all races

- isn't that comforting? knowing you'll be laughed at regardless?

- also, people may not laugh, they may not care at all

- but there will be people who do, people who need you to do what you need to do. it's not to boost your ego laura, it's to remind you that what you do is not just about you, it never was.

- just do the thing.

- send the email, write the pieces, submit them, hope for the best

- you've survived heartbreaking rejection before, you can survive professional rejection also (emotionally i mean, maybe panic a liiiiiittle cos you need $$$$$ lol)

- you've got this.